


Make Love Not War

by sarcastic_fi



Category: This Means War (2012)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, F/M, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Omega Verse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-02
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-20 02:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/580335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcastic_fi/pseuds/sarcastic_fi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was never about who could get the girl. How could it be, with a lifetime of history between them including a son who could never be acknowledged, guilt that could never be assuaged and blame that could never be forgiven. OR; the one where FRD knocked Tuck up seven years ago but society hasn't quiet clued into the whole A/B/O thing and everything got screwed up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue; unanswered questions

“Dad,” Joe began, speaking to his father for the first time since he had arrived at the party. Tuck's attention was immediately on his son, concerned with the child's attitude so far that day. “Am I a mistake?”

“What?” The question was so ridiculous that Tuck feared he'd have to bite back laughter, but no, his son looked genuinely upset and any humour Tuck had felt at the remark faded instantly. “Well, Joe, you weren't planned if that was what you meant. But as far as mistakes go... you know what Uncle Frank says, there are no mistakes.”

“Mum talked to me. About stuff. She said she isn't my mum, but that she still loves me.”

Tuck let in a short sharp breath. Wow. That was... unexpected. They had talked about telling Joe the story of his birth, but both agreed to do it together when he was older, like thirty five or something. Okay, Tuck had wanted to prolong the inevitable pretty much indefinitely, whereas Katie had strived to be as honest with her adopted son as soon as possible. Tuck wasn't happy that she had decided aged seven was old enough to confess his sins, and he wished she had told him first so he could prepare himself. “How do you feel about that?”

Joe gave him this look that made him seem twice as old as Tuck was, it said everything Tuck needed to know but everything he wished wasn't true. “You know she does love you. We both do.”

Panic flared in Joe's eyes. “Are you even my dad?”

“No, no, Joe. Of course I am. You are my son, in my heart and my mind and my body. It's just that your other parent couldn't be around to take care of you, so Katie stepped in and said she'd be your mum. She chose to love you, to have you as her son. That makes your bond very special.” 

“Where is my real mum?” Joe asked.

Tuck sighed heavily and looked over at the festivities, at Nana laughing as her husband led in a dance, at Katie eating some birthday cake trying not to get icing all around her mouth as she did so, and at FDR and Lauren snuggled up on the grass as he smiled into her eyes. He tried not to let the sight upset him, but it was always a struggle. “It doesn't matter. All that really matters is that you have me, and Katie, Nana and FDR... we're all you need.”

Tuck gave his son a hug after that and watched as he ran off to join the others in their joy, but he saw that what he said had little affect on his son's over-all mood and it made him feel like a failure. He wanted to be honest with his son, but how could he when the situation was so complicated that most people would be freaked out, let alone a seven year old child without the knowledge to understand what he was being told or the maturity to keep it to himself. How could he tell Joe that FDR, his beloved Uncle Frank, was his real biological father, and that Tuck... 

Tuck was his mother.


	2. Eight years and two months ago

“This can't be happening,” FDR said, helpful as always.

Tuck glared at his best friend from the other side of Nana Foster's kitchen table and mentally added 'stupid idiot' to the very long list of insults he wanted to throw at FDR right now. Just because FDR was having trouble grasping the realities of their current situation didn't meant it couldn't be happening, because obviously the fact that it was happening was proof enough of the stupidity of that sentence. 

“Calm down, Franklin,” Nana said lightly as she stood at the head of the table, surveying the two boys who she loved more than anything. They were like sons to her, but the truth was they had never been like brothers to each other even if FDR insisted on referring to their bond in such a way. She had known since they had reached puberty that this was the likeliest outcome, but she hadn't seen any point in adding stress to a hormonally charged situation and telling them about their unique heritage.

“Alphas and Omegas are hardly new to this world, or even to the human species. They are, however, a well kept secret since so few of them exist. Alphas, such as yourself Franklin, will 'knot' an Omega that is their mate and when doing so the likelihood of pregnancy resulting increases a thousand fold. Of course, an Omega can only get pregnant by his Alpha, and only at certain times of the year. Some Omegas will only be fertile once or twice in their lifetime, others enter periods of time called 'heats' in which their body will deliberately attempt to seduce their mate once a month. It seems that you, Tuck, are one of the former Omegas since you've never struggled with heats before and you've managed to reach the age of twenty-three without becoming pregnant.”

“I'm still stuck on the whole men becoming pregnant bit, to be honest, Nana,” Tuck admitted.

“Of course you are dear. All of that could have been avoided if your parents had just been honest with you, but they had their reasons for keeping it a secret.”

“My parents?”

“Being an Omega is not something one simply becomes. You have to have the genetic markers for it. Alphas and Omegas are born, not made by circumstance and chance. Your parents, Tuck, were an Alpha and Omega couple. When Joshua, your omega mother, died in England, Stephen made the decision to emigrate to the USA and keep your parentage a secret.”

“Oh god,” Tuck groaned, his hands coming up to cover his face. His dad had died two years ago and they hadn't been on good terms, with his dad being mysteriously over protective of him and it had felt like suffocation. It was why he'd gone to college and started the application for the CIA – to prove he was a bad ass who could take care of himself. Plus, FDR was doing it and he'd always done what FDR was doing. It was just how they worked. Now he knew why, and it made every question about his mum, every bitter word and every misunderstanding so much more painful to remember.

FDR glanced at his friend in sympathy, wishing things were less tense between them so that he could reach over and give him a hug. He shook the feeling off and turned to his Nana. “My mom... she was my mom right? I mean, I remember having a regular mom and dad. Please, tell me that wasn't a lie.”

Nana smiled gently at him and reached over to clasp his hand. “Of course that wasn't a lie, Franklin. You had beta parents; a normal mom and dad. The reason you have Alpha DNA was because your mother's father was an Alpha, and so is your grandfather, my husband. As I understand it Chester met Penny before he found his Omega and stayed with her when your mother was born even though he later found his mate. My husband, however... well, his mate died before he met me and they never had any children. He always says to me that loving his mate was fate, but loving me was a choice he would gladly make a thousand times.”

“So it doesn't have to mean anything?” FDR blurted out. Nana and Tuck both sent him twin glares. “I mean, sure I love Tuck, you know like a brother... but just because of this whole 'mate' thing doesn't mean I can never...” he must have realised how inappropriate a time this was to complain about not being able to fuck other people because he shut up then, but of course the damage had already been done.

“Franklin Foster! You aught to be ashamed of yourself. Now, stop thinking with your dick for five minutes young man and both of you focus on the fact that you're going to be parents in eight months.” Nana scolded him.

“No, we're not,” Tuck muttered, tired and scared and feeling pressured from both sides. First and foremost he was FDR's friend and he'd been programmed after years of cleaning up FDR's messes to instinctively try and make things easier for his friend. Secondly, he had no desire to drag FDR further into a relationship he clearly didn't want. Brotherly love? Yeah, right. Perhaps that was what it had been when they were younger, but they'd been fucking on and off for the past six or seven years so he hoped that the statement FDR had made didn't reflect his view of brotherhood. “Look, it's my body, my decision. I'll take responsibility for the baby, if there even is one, and I'll raise it. She or he will be my child, and I'll find someone or make up someone to tell him or her is their mother.”

“Your actions will have consequences. It isn't easy to undo a mating once it's been completed,” Nana warned them. She clearly wanted to lecture them both for their foolish behaviour and stubborn decisions but at the end of the day they were both adults, and if Tuck was willing to take responsibility and FDR was willing to take the easy way out and run then who was she to tell them they were both wrong.

Even if they were both wrong.


	3. Parenthood

“I think we should have 'the talk',” Lauren announced.

They were lying in bed on a Tuesday morning both grateful for their jobs which at times could be demanding, hectic and dangerous but also allowed them more down time than regular 9-5 jobs did. They each had two weeks off, although only three days intersected. This was the third day, and tomorrow Lauren would head back to the office and FDR would finds ways to entertain himself; probably by visiting his Nana or calling Tuck constantly to ask if he could come back to the office yet.

“What talk?” He murmured, trailing kisses over her taunt abdomen as his hands caressed her hips. He loved her body, with its warm soft skin and toned perfection. 

She sighed as if she had expected him to understand her vague girl-talk phrase. “The talk – you know, about kids and stuff?”

“What about them?” He asked, distracted by her bellybutton as he moved lower down her body. This was one of those conversations that he'd never been in a relationship long enough to have so he didn't see the warning signs. True, it should have occurred to him to talk about this with Lauren since he had asked her to marry him yesterday. But he was FDR and sometimes these things just snuck up on him.

“Do you want children?” She asked bluntly.

That got his attention. Suddenly he was no longer interested in removing the scrap of fabric that covered her. He sat up and stared at her with panic. “Why, do you?”

“I think so. I mean, not straight away. I'm too involved with my work and your job is way to dangerous to raise a kid while doing. But in the future maybe,” she said and then looked at him as if to say 'your turn' which he thought was a little unfair. She really hadn't answered the question at all but he bet if he tried that 'maybe one day let's talk about this another time' crap then she wouldn't put out for a month and he'd be on the sofa.

His heart was pounding and he couldn't think straight. He though he'd rather face an angry Russian spy armed to the teeth than answer this question. He opened his mouth and just spoke without really thinking about the answer. “No, not really. Joe is enough for me.”

At first he couldn't think of why she was giving him such an odd look. Not until she responded. “Joe? Tuck's son? You're just his uncle, FDR, barely even that. I mean, it isn't like you and Tuck are actually related. Being a father is different. Being a parent with me would be different.”

Then he realised what he had said and felt shamed. Not because of the words, but because he had never really thought about his place in Joe's life before. When he'd been in his twenties he'd had a chance to step-up and raise Joe with Tuck, even if they could only do it as friend rather than being able to admit that they were both Joe's genetic parents. He'd been young, though, and he'd screwed it all up by being more concerned by how the bond between him and Tuck would affect his chances of getting laid and living his normal life rather than realising the significance of the situation. It was no surprise that he and Tuck had never slept together after that, not out of fear that Tuck would once again conceive but because Tuck could never trust FDR with his body. For Tuck, having sex meant you cared for someone emotionally. It was something he only did with people he had genuine affection for; that he loved. FDR, on the other hand, was famous for seducing whatever pretty young thing crossed his path, which, with the exception of his best friend, had always been female. Still, he had always felt strongly about Joe, about keeping him safe from harm and wanting the best for him. In his heart he recognised Joe as his son even if he had never, and could never, publicly announce Joe's true relation to him. How could he tell Lauren when he couldn't even tell Joe that he was his father?

“True, but I feel like Joe is enough for me. Maybe he isn't my son, but he's the closest I'm willing to consider right now. I'm not cut out for fatherhood, Lauren, and I think this might be a deal breaker for me.”

Lauren was stunned. She wasn't one of those women who had the names of her kids planned out before their even born, who dreamed about picking out schools and taking them to the park but she'd always just assumed that one day she would be a mother. “Are you telling me that if we get married then I'm never gonna have kids?” She asked.

“If? Lauren you said 'yes' last night!” He reminded her as she leapt of the bed and started pulling on her clothes.

“Yeah, but clearly I didn't understand what I was saying yes to,” she said as she stormed out of the apartment leaving a shocked and worried FDR sitting naked on his bed.


	4. Involvement

“So, you came to me,” Nana said after having listened to her grandson's tale.

“Well, I couldn't exactly talk to Tuck about it, could I,” he pointed out.

His nana's left eyebrow arched. “I'm impressed that you've learnt that much tact,” she told him frankly. “Tuck deserves better from you than that. Of course, I could say that about most things you've put him through in the past twenty years.”

FDR sighed. “I'm a crappy friend, aren't I?”

“No. but you are a crappy life mate. I know you don't like talking – or even thinking – about it but there is an emotional connection between the two of you that is deeper than friendship, and so much more fragile.”

“Okay, okay! Enough talking about how I'm an awful person when it comes to Tuck. Just tell me how to be better for Lauren before she walks out of my life?” He begged his grandmother and she melted under the intensity of that look.

Sighing she took her grandson's hands in her own. “Franklin, I know you think you really love her but sometimes love isn't enough, especially when it comes to children. If you truly do not wish to become a father then set her free. No one ever made anyone else happy by trying to change themselves for the other person.”

FDR felt his nana's words like a punch to the gut, or more accurately it was like Lauren had stuck a knife in his stomach when she had said 'if', and his nana had just twisted it. There was no meanness behind his grandmother's advice, he knew without doubt that she would only ever advise him on actions in a way that would protect him and others but sometimes the best course of action was the one he least wanted to take.

FDR et his nana's hands go and she puttered around the kitchen, perfecting her famous pie as he sat at the kitchen table mulling over the impossible decision he was going to have to make.

)((TMW~))(

It was awkward, being out with Lauren at a nice café surrounded by happy couples and close friends. It wasn't because they used to date, Tuck was the kind of guy who was good at remaining close with his exes (for example FDR). It was because she was now dating FDR, and considering all the ways in which he and FDR lied to her everyday he was uncomfortable with the idea of her inviting him into her confidences.

“I hope this is okay,” Lauren said, waving an arm to indicate the situation between them both. Tuck did what he had to; he lied.

“No, of course. I was surprised but pleased, I'm glad you called.”

“Good!” She breathed an over-exaggerated sigh of relief. “I was worried things between us would be weird. We haven't been alone – together – since I chose between you and Tuck and well, I'd like it if we could just put it all in the past,” she nodded as she stared at him in a way that made him slightly (more) uncomfortable.

“In the past. Ancient history,” he agreed.

“Great! Then I need you to talk to you about FDR. He doesn't want kids.”

Tuck choked on his food and took a long gulp of ice cold water to help him. He couldn't believe he was going to have this conversation with FDR's fiancee. What was he going to say? Yeah, I know, he told me that when he accidentally knocked me up years ago. Not exactly his best material. “I'm sorry. I gather that for you this is a deal breaker?”

“No. Yes. No, maybe? I mean, he said for him it is and I don't want to lose him. I've finally found the perfect man for me and now I have to really think about our future. I'd always imagined having kids, not in any detail but it's just something I'd assume I'd have. I mean, I like kids. Always enjoy spending time with Trish's kids and Joe is wonderful... I mean, is he really serious? He never, ever, ever wants to have kids?” She downed the glass of white wine that had accompanied her food and he winced. 

“If that's what he said. Look, we don't talk much about this – for many reason, but from what I've been able to fathom children don't feature into FDR's dream and hopes. He never considered them. Maybe ten years down the line he'll change his mind but you may have to face the strong possibility that you and he will never have kids. So, I'm going to ask you again, Lauren; is that a deal breaker for you?”

She looked at him with hopelessness in her cloudy blue eyes. “I don't know.”

)((TMW))(

Tuck had hoped that that conversation with Lauren would be the last of his involvement in FDR and Lauren's relationship. Afterwards he had helped her to the car, she had been more than a little tipsy, and driven her back to FDR's apartment where they had basically been living even though Lauren still had her place. She would be fine after a nap and some painkillers but the fact was she and FDR had some tough decisions to make and Tuck didn't envy either of them. Selfishly he thought that it would be fitting if the woman that FDR loved rejected him because of his unwillingness to have children with her, when the fact that Tuck did have a child with FDR was the reason he had been rejected and reassigned to 'best friend only' status. He liked to think he was a better man, though, so he tried his best to push those thoughts to the back of his mind.

Later on that evening he received a visit from the man himself, who, it turned out, had been at his nana's all day followed by a bar and then here, on Tuck's font door. What a happy couple FDR and Lauren made; both of them very quick to bury their heads in alcohol when things got tough.

“What are you doing here?” Tuck asked.

“Can I borrow Joe for a day?”

Tuck literally stopped breathing. Mostly it was the shock of hearing those words from FDR's mouth, but some of it was pure outrage. “No.”

“Come on, Tuck!” FDR sounded like Tuck was the one being unreasonable.

“Screw you, FDR. No, you cannot borrow my son in order to use him as a chip in your negotiations with Lauren. He's a child not a tool.”

“Hey! He's my son, too!” Tuck wasn't sure who looked more surprised at those words coming from FDR's mouth but he knew it was only the fact that his friend had been drinking that stopped Tuck from punching him then and there.

“How dare you say that to me after all these years? Biologically he may have some of your DNA, although I have high hopes that Katie's influence had eradicated you from his system, but trust me when I say that you are not his father. Parenthood means sticking around after conception, FDR. You can't pick and chose when to lay claim to him, and you damn well can't 'borrow' him in order to decide whether or not you want kids with someone else!” 

FDR looked stunned at Tuck's burst of temper that clearly hid all the hurt his drunken request had caused. FDR guessed he was witnessing the fragility of their bond, and couldn't believe he'd been so stupid as to not see the wounds he'd inflicted on Tuck all those years ago, and every since. “Tuck, I'm so sor-”

“No. I don't want to hear it. Just get out, FDR, and grow the fuck up. I sure as hell had to.”

FDR left quickly, and Tuck found himself wishing he could be irresponsibly enough to be like Lauren and FDR and find solace in a bottle of liquor. Sensibly he restrained himself and did what always made him feel better.

“Hi, Katie. Is he still awake? 

Yes, please, I'd love to hear his voice. 

Thanks. 

Hey, Joe. How are you doing, kid?”

(TBC....)


	5. Family

Tuck didn't take a single phone call from FDR for two weeks, but he listened to every apologetic voicemail that his supposed best friend left. By the end of that period it was fairly obvious that FDR still didn't understand why Tuck had such an issue with the whole event as he seemed to apologise for everything from not being there for Joe's birth, nicking the paint of Tuck's car when they had been racing for the sheer competition of it one day, to making out with Tuck's crush at his high school reunion. Lauren called twice, once he ignored her and the second time he picked up to tell her not to bother interceding on FDR's behalf as it was a matter between old friends. She wanted to know why, but he couldn't betray FDR like that and fobbed her off with a 'none of your business, sorry all the same' excuse. But he couldn't avoid him forever.

Then Nana called.

“I'm not ready to forgive him.”

Nana sighed on the other side of the line. “Tuck, dear, have you ever really forgiven him or sis you simply bury your feelings down in an attempt to salvage your friendship?”

“No, that' not...”

“As an Omega your instinctual response would have been to do anything you could to maintain contact with your Alpha, even if that meant putting aside your own hurt to stay close. What with the pregnancy your hormones would have been affecting you to make that decision as well.”

“We've been friends for years before that, Nana. I wouldn't even know how to leave him behind,” Tuck confessed tiredly.

“Of course you wouldn't, and he should respect that instead of taking you for granted but sometimes he can be such a child. Honestly, you'd think we didn't even raise him right!” She scoffed. “Alpha children are very difficult to control, even more so when they lose their parents at such a vulnerable age. Still, I would have liked to believe the lessons we taught him had influenced him more.”

Tuck was surprised to hear her talking such a way. He knew she often joked about FDR's boyish charmed and behaviour but never had he heard her talk such a way about him in so serious a tone before. He wished he knew how to reassure her that she did the best she could have but he knew she already knew that. Like most other topics involving her wayward grandson there was nothing left to say that could change the situation.

“There is a gathering at the house. You'll come?” It was a demand.

“I'm not sure I'm in the right frame of mind to socialise with FDR and Lauren right now, Nana.”

“Pish. Besides, Joseph would like a word.”

“Grandpa wants a word with me?” Tuck, having had no family when he came to the USA other than his strict and closed off father had taken to calling FDR's grandparents as if they were his own. Despite reaching adulthood no one had broken him of this habit and he knew now that no one ever would. He was family, even if he wasn't blood. Even if he would never be by bond.

“He is an Alpha. Perhaps he can help you muddle through without FDR?”

He paused. The idea of talking to Joseph about Alphas and Omegas had him extremely tempted, but he had no wish to run into his ex-best friend and FDR's current paramour. “Will there be pie?”

“Of course; pecan. Your favourite.” A done deal then, if she was making his favourite which also happened to be the one FDR hated and Lauren was allergic to.

“I'll see you at eleven.”

)((TMW~))( 

The Sunday was bright and warm so the gathering was held outside as Nana loved the sun almost as much as she loved her grandson and husband. FDR's cousin's children played on the swing set that Grandpa had put up back when FDR had first come to live with them and cloth was laid out over the picnic tables ready for the food that Nana was currently cooking in the kitchen. Tuck had deliberately come an hour earlier than he had said he would as he suspected Nana may try and trick him into a confrontation with FDR who also usually showed up at about eleven, which was just in time to avoid any real work before lunch would be ready. However Tuck was not afraid of work and he happily helped Grandpa and Michael, FDR's cousin Lorna's husband, set up the tables and carry out plates, cutlery, glasses and dishes of prepared foods.

Michael, like Lorna, knew of their family's unique heritage as Lorna was at risk of having an Alpha or Omega child due to her bloodline. This meant that they were free to discuss the subject in front of them. “You're having problems with my grandson, yes?”

“More like he is having problems with his mouth and brain. They don't seem to be connected, you understand.”

“FDR, always impulsive. He feels bad when he hurts you but it's instinctive and he has always fought his instincts when it comes to you. He hates the idea of someone else controlling his life. Alphas always have control issues.”

“Did you rebel against your bond?” 

A sad smile tugged at Joseph's face. “Not for a single moment. I had been impatiently waiting for Robert to arrive in my life for a long time. I was raised by Alpha and Omega parents who understood what it meant to be those things, and so I eagerly awaited my mate bond from a young age until we finally met as men in our late teens.”

“But you never had children?”

“I wanted to, very much. Robert, however, was afraid. He suffered through intense heats once a month that meant he was unable to work as other men did and hated his own body for what he saw as a betrayal. He loved me, for certain, but every heat he would lock himself away until it was over determined not to fall pregnant. He longed only to be normal.”

“That's terrible. I'm sorry, I can't imagine loving someone so incapable of excepting themselves that it causes so many problems.”

“Can't you?” Grandpa asked him with a raised eyebrow.

Tuck went inside to grab a jug of lemonade and avoided the question. He had never theought of FDR's rejection as a response to fear or hatred of his own inner body chemistry but rather interpreted it as an inability to love Tuck. It made him see the situation in a new light.

“What happened? To Robert, I mean.”

“He died, I know you are aware of this, but Nana never told you how. What killed him was his own heats. Having locked himself away from completing our bond and denying his own nature his body responded with disease and illness. He died rather than accept who he was.”

After that Tuck couldn't talk any longer.


	6. Venom

Tuck was in a sombre mood after hearing Joseph's story, not even FDR and Lauren's arrival just under an hour later could shake him out of it although it made it easier to ignore every wounded puppy look that FDR sent his way and all the attempts that Lauren made to corner him. In this he felt sorry for her, she'd never be truly able to understand FDR because he would never be able to tell her the truth about his biology and history. Perhaps his hesitation to have children with her stemmed not just from selfishness but also from a fear of inflicting this genetic abnormality on his own kids. Tuck wouldn't be able to blame him for that, he constantly feared for Joe knowing that his future would be deeply affected by his predisposition. Tuck would tell him, when he was a bit older, about the birds and the bees and now he might end up with a bee not a bird. He guessed that the truth about Joe's parentage would have to come out then, and Tuck dreaded that conversation because afterwards Joe was going to wonder why fun lovable 'uncle' Frank never loved him enough to admit he was actually daddy Frank. Just another reason to be angry at FDR.

Lunch was delicious, but even the warmth in his stomach and the smiles on everyone's faces couldn't hide the tension that existed. The family was used to FDR and Tuck's relationship; they'd been friends and lovers and then friends as close as brothers but they'd never been distant the way they were now. It was all the more confusing because while Katie had been accepted as an extension of the family, no one really knew how to feel about Lauren. Yes, Nana liked the woman and thought it was good that FDR was growing up enough to propose to someone, but at the same time she was seen as an imposter, someone who didn't quite belong and never could. Tuck feared that the only way Lauren would ever be welcomed into the fold was if he himself left, becoming just another childhood memory best kept in dusty photo frames and only mentioned at Christmas in a fond tone before moving on to more important matters.

These thoughts plagued him as Nana offered up second desserts to the family members around the table. Suddenly Tuck didn't want any damn pie, and he didn't want the sun to shine or the food in his stomach. Nausea swept through him and he quickly, but politely, made his excuses.

He didn't expect FDR to come chasing after him, only to find him puking up in a bin half way down the street.

“Tuck? Are you okay?”He asked, immediately throwing a supportive arm around Tuck midriff as he heaved. 

Tuck pushed him away. “I don't need your help,” he growled between gasps of breath.

“What's wrong with you? You never throw up unless you're really ill.”

“Maybe it was the company. Upset my digestive system?” He said, cattily, and regretted it instantly. “Look, it's probably nothing. Go back to lunch, FDR. I'll be fine after some rest.”

“I'll drive you.”

“I brought my car. I'm not an invalid.”

“You're a danger to other drivers behind the wheel. I'll take you.”

“No, you won't.”

“Yes, I will.”

“No.”

“Y-”

“What about Lauren? You can't leave her to fend for herself,” Tuck reminded him. Guilt flashed across FDR's face and Tuck realised he had forgotten all about his maybe fiancée who had come with him tonight. Whether it was falling into old habits with a lifetime of Sunday lunches spent with Tuck there or a reflection of FDR's own inner misgivings about Lauren's place in his life, Tuck didn't want to guess. Either way it was nothing to celebrate.

“She'll be fine. It's an hour alone with my family, not infiltrating the Russian government with intent to sabotage.”

Tuck was pretty sure that Lauren would prefer the latter more than the former. “I don't think so. Stay with your girlfriend, FDR. I can take care of myself.”

FRD let out a humourless chuckle. “Well, clearly not,” he gestured to the bin.

“Sorry, I'm confused? Is that the voice of experience talking as my supposedly brother-like-best-friend, or the instinct of an Alpha to protect and dominate his mate?”

FDR visibly paled. No answer came forth. “You can't even tell, can you?”

“Fuck you, Tuck.”

“Hey, I'll gladly back off if you leave me alone. Just let me make my own way; after all you had no problem doing so when I was pregnant.”

Tuck didn't know where all the venom was coming from. Well, he did, but it was still a surprise to find himself spewing it all at FDR. It wasn't like his friend didn't deserve it, but it was years too late to do anything but hurt them both. 

Even with that realisation he couldn't stop himself.

“Did you think it was easy? Being a pregnant twenty something male, all alone with no freaking clue how to do it and no one to ask? Grandpa never had kids with his Omega, and my dad's not around to ask. Nana did the best she could, and Katie did everything she could but what did you do? Fuck all. In fact, that's literally what you did. Fucked me, fucking me up, fucking me over then ran away from the consequences and fucked everything in a skirt that was even slightly tipsy or stupid. I survived the scariest, most painful and most thrilling experience of my life. And I did it all without you. So, in conclusion, I think that driving home alone after throwing up twice won't be so much of a challenge that I have to rely on the big bad Alpha male to assist. Don't you?”

FDR was trembling and silent. Tuck took that as permission and strode off to his car, having to problems putting it in drive and getting himself home, all the while an imagine of FDR's face in his mind. He'd never looked so... wrecked before. Although Tuck imagined he had looked that way when his parents died. The comparrison was not favourable.

Once home, safe and sound and without causing any major pile ups or accidents! - he switched the television on and curled up on his sofa. It was only two pm but he quickly found himself asleep.

He woke to someone pounding on his door. 

“What?” He called as he fell on the sofa in his rush to get up. Everything ached, the knocking sounded like a hammer and he considered crawling towards the door rather than face the alternative of standing on his own two feet. In short he felt like crap.

“Tuck? Tucker, it's me. Let me in,” Katie called from the other side of the door.

Fear leapt in Tuck's heart and he lunged towards the door, ignoring the dizzy spell that came over him. “What?” He asked, opening the door to find his ex-wife in perfectly applied minimalist make up with jeans and a black tank top on. Her handbag was by her feet, apparently it had been hindering her attempts to smash through his door with her fists, and there was not a hair out of place on her head. Still, every bad thought a parent has when the guardian of their child comes knocking on their door as if the world has just ended coursed through him despite the complete lack of evidence. “Where is Joe? Is he okay? Why isn't he with you?”

“Tuck... Joe is fine. He's at a sleepover with Todd and Dean. You're supposed to be going to pick him up in the morning, and we were meeting for a chat his evening... are you feeling okay?” She asked.

“I'm fucking fine!” He snapped.

Silence fell. He had never raised his voice at or sworn at Katie before. Not when they were married, not when it became obvious that they'd both be happier if they were single but still involved with Joe, not even when Katie moved on and left Tuck behind reminding him once again how easy people fell out of love with him. 

“I'm so sorry.”

“That's okay. I was worried. It's almost midnight, Tuck. You've been better at being reliable lately and at first I was pissed at you being four hours late... now I'm just worried. You look like hell.”

“It's twelve? I came home from Nana's at two... I must have fallen asleep.”

“Sit down before you fall down.”

Tuck made his way to a kitchen chair and slumped down. Katie passed him a glass of water and some painkillers before taking the seat opposite him. “You're not drinking, are you?” Her dad had been an alcoholic. She'd spent her childhood dealing with his hangovers and withdrawal symptoms while she avoided his fists and cleaned up the broken glass and vomit. Right now Tuck looked as rough as he had after twenty years of alcohol abuse and very little else.

“I'm not... no, Katie. It's not like that. I was fine this morning, went to see Grandpa to talk about things and then bailed after lunch. I just felt sick. Came home. Fell asleep. Woke up with you scaring the crap out of me,” he smiled to let her know she was forgiven. 

“I'll cancel my class tomorrow and pick Joe up. Tuck, at some point we're going to need to talk about how things stand. I love him as if he was my own son but I think he needs to be with you now. Understand?” 

He nodded, unable to comprehend how that made him feel.

“We'll talk when you're feeling better. Call me, okay?” She said, kissing him on the sweaty head and reminding him to take the pills before leaving.

He downed the water and ignored the pills before climbing into bed. Near dawn he woke, drenched in sweat, and discarded the clothes he was still wearing since this morning, before falling back into a dreamless slumber.


	7. Possession

Tuck didn't feel better the next morning, not even after almost twenty hours of sleep. Upon waking up he realised his bed was damp from sweat, changed the sheets and his clothes only to finally figure out the awful truth.

He was in heat.

Last time he'd been in his twenties and the heat had come on after a party. He'd assumed the sickness was due to the alcohol consumed and the horniness the next day because he'd woken up in FDR's bed with his friend rutting up against him. Okay, so maybe they both should have realised that the natural lubricant that Tuck's body was producing was a bit unnatural, as was the fact that neither of them made it further than the fridge before starting another round for three days in a row. Having done some more research since Tuck discovered that a heat can last up to eight days if the Omega isn't impregnated. 

Great, eight days of incurable horniness. That sounded like so much freaking fun.

Why it was happening now was something Tuck would worry about when he could think clearly. Right now there was one more thing he needed to do before giving into the suffocating desire to fuck, even if he could only fuck his own fist.

“Good afternoon; please provide an extension number so we can appropriately connect your call,” said an overly polite voice on the other side of the line.

“Kilo Sierra 3 – Tango, Tango Alpha Romeo 88676. Rita, I need to talk to Ned,” Tuck only just remembered his code and really couldn't be bothered going through all the proper channels and security measures. He was calling in sick, for gods sake, not asking for a debrief of national secrets.

“Sure thing, Agent Hansen. Transferring you now.”

“Edward Nicholls office.” 

“Ned... It's me. Tucker Hansen. I'm really sorry to do this, I know I've already been on leave for a while but I've come down with a really disgusting bug – very contagious my cousin gave it to me. Sorry, Ned but I just can't make it in this week. I guess FDR will just have to get caught up on his paper work.”

“I understand, Tucker. Get better soon, we need you back out there.”

“Of course, Ned. I'll phone when I feel better.”

He disconnected the call and finally allowed his hands to roam free. All too soon he was moaning and coming. The desire never abated and he found himself cycling in and out of mindless desire and desperate masturbation. Eventually he fell back asleep.

He woke again to the sound of someone pounding on the door. This time he was pissed. “Why can';t you all just let a man be ill in piece!” He shouted before swinging the door open, unashamed of the fact he was only dressed in a loose pair of jogging pants and nothing else.

Luckily – or unluckily – it was only FDR.

His Alpha took one look at him, taking in the scent and sight of his Omega, and declared, “you're not ill you're in heat!”

“Well done, seven years too late to tell the difference.”

FDR frowned at the comment. “You called in sick to work so I came over to see how you are.”

“As you can tell, I'm fine.”

“Not fine, Tuck. In heat.”

“Same difference,” he shrugged dismissively trying his best to ignore how much he wanted FDR to reach out and touch him.

FRD stepped forward, not hiding the fact that he clearly wanted the same thing. Tuck found himself backing away, effectively being hunted in his own apartment.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping,” FDR said, with a lick of his lips.

Arousal ignited in Tuck and he almost caved in to the offer, but he couldn't get the image of Lauren with her arms around FDR out of his mind. “No. I don't need your help, FDR. I need your absence.”

“Don't be ridiculous, I'm the only one who can help.”

“Really? Because you helped so much last time.”

“Oh but that was fun. The best sex I've ever had. How about you, Tuck? Ever had it better than that weekend?” He asked, close to Tuck now as he'd been backed into a corner. 

Tuck's eyes flashed angrily at his Alpha. “Fuck you, FDR. What about Lauren? Remember her – your fiancée?”

FDR shrugged. “She never has to know. Besides, who knows if she even is my fiancée any more. Can't make her mind up.”

Tuck had never heard FDR talk about Lauren in such a callous way before and assumed it must be the hormones affecting him. That or his friend was much more of a jackass than he'd let on before which would be quite an achievement.

“No, FDR. You'll regret this later.”

“Who cares about later. I just want to be thrust inside of you, filling you up until we can't remember our names let alone tomorrow.”

Tuck could feel FDR's breath on his cheek now, legs pressed against each other as Tuck desperately tried to keep his rock hard erection away from FDR. Another inch closer and he'd fail at his goal.

“Have you even brought any condoms with you? I've been celibate for long enough not to have any.”

“Condoms, who needs them? They just get in the way.”

“God damn it FDR, think about what you're saying. You ran away last time because I was pregnant and you're about to make the same mistakes all over again!”

“Not a mistake, never a mistake. My child grew inside you... it was beautiful. I want it again. Give Joe a little brother or sister.”

That was the last straw. Tuck pushed FRD away and then before the other man had recovered he punched him in the face. The crack was satisfying but even the pain blooming in his hand didn't abate the need in his loins.

FDR growled at him.

Suddenly Tuck was thinking that punching the Alpha in the face hadn't been such a good idea. He felt the need to run but as soon as he took a step away FDR was on him, kissing him like Tuck's mouth was air and he'd been suffocating beforehand. Hands roaming everywhere, possessive and distracting. FDR let go of Tuck's mouth but only so he could move on to his neck, sucking so hard that Tuck could feel the scrape of FDR's teeth and it made him rut up against FDR's pelvis until he came from that alone.

FDR released his neck, feeling decidedly satisfied with himself as he rid his Omega mate of his trousers and followed suit. They were both naked in little more than a blink of an eye and FDR was manoeuvring them over to the bed. 

“We shouldn't,” Tuck whispered without conviction as FDR's fingers found his soaked hole.

FDR made that growling noise from before and licked a long strip from the back of Tuck's neck to his ear before biting down and thrusting inside of Tuck's hole, filling him, at the same time. “This is how it's meant to be. You're mine. No one else's. Never anyone else.”

“You're so fucking selfish,” Tuck groaned, loving the way FDR felt inside of him but hating his own weakness. 

FDR laughed a husky sound. “Now, now, orgasms all around!” He chided him, missing Tuck's point entirely.

Tuck felt FDR's hips stutter as he lost control and came inside of Tuck; no condom.

There was no time for Tuck to think about it because the next thing he knew FDR had repositioned them and was now sucking Tuck's cock very enthusiastically, melting the last of his coherent thoughts for the next few hours.


	8. Choices Made

In between bouts of desperate fucking, eating and sleeping there were only recriminations, arguments and blame. Tuck was not easily sidetracked and only when the need overwhelmed him did he allow his Alpha to subdue him. Topics ranged from the betrayal FDR was committing by being in Tuck's bed when he should be with Lauren, to any mission that had ever gone wrong in the slightest way because of something FDR did or did not do, and finally cycling around to Joe's parentage and FDR's inability to be a dad even if he had already proved he was more than capable of fathering a child.

"My grandfather told me, you know." 

"What?" Tuck groaned as his orgasm afterglow wore off and the stench of unwashed cum-stained sheet assailed his senses. Unfortunately his body ached far too much for him to move let alone remake the bed and wash the sheets. Besides, until his heat ran its course there was no way he was going to change the sheets only to have them soiled ten minutes later. They would just have to wait, along with contact with the outside world and clothes.

"He told me, long ago, how dangerous it would be for a bonded Omega to go through Heats alone. You should have called me, instead of being stubborn and risking your own life."

"Fuck you, FDR."

"I think you have that backwards," he said lightly as his hand started to caress Tuck's back heading south.

Tuck caught his breath as FRD's fingers found what they were looking for and he bit down on the fleshy part of his hand to muffle the deep moan he released at the sensations his Alpha was causing. "I don't need you."

"Correction, you don't want to need me but you do. Hell, I don't even what you to need me but the facts remain the same. They weren't sure if you would ever have another Heat but if you did they were very clear that I needed to be close at hand," he said as he repositioned himself over Tuck.

"Great, so the past seven years of friendship have been a lie so you wouldn't feel guilty for letting me die from my Heat?"

It was hard to sound pissed off with someone who was stimulating your prostate but Tuck somehow managed it even as FDR glided in and out with deliberate eroticism that was frustrating and arousing. "No, you've been my friend forever Tuck, and you make an awesome partner, but I kept a close eye on your health and dating habits because I knew that sexual relationships could also set your Heat off even if it wasn't with me."

"You fucking bastard!" Tuck ground out, and in retaliation FDR trust roughly in and held himself against Tuck's prostate until his Omega trembled with the need to orgasm. "You... y... you knew who she w... was right from the s... st... start!"

His vision whited out as he came and FDR's knot inflated as he pulsed out his own fertile seed into Tuck's receptive body.

"I knew," he admitted his greatest sin against Lauren. "I knew she had just come from a date with you, how could I not?" He leaned in to whisper, his breath hot and humid against Tuck's ear. "I could smell you all over her."

)(((TMW)))(

It wasn't until half way through his sixth day that Tuck felt human enough to make it to the shower. He found the roughest cloth he could and caked it in soap before scrubbing his skin raw under the scalding hot shower. The water was running cold by the time he was done which he found slightly ironic. After the week he had just endured the last thing he was capable of doing was getting hard. In fact, he was pretty sure he had gone off of sex at least for the next year.

When he finally came out of the bathroom he found FDR already dressed and standing over a freshly made bed with clean linens and a cup of coffee on the side for Tuck. "I guess it's over then, and by the length I doubt it's likely you've conceived."

"Did you want me too?" Tuck asked, he didn't sound quite as cool as he wanted it to be but he was proud that there was none of the heated rage that he felt boiling just below the surface in his voice.

"That's probably something I need to figure out on my own, and then talk to Lauren about," FDR admitted.

Tuck didn't bother trying to hide his flinch. "After everything, you're just going back to her like nothing has changed?"

"For me; nothing has. Look, I knew all along that if you had another Heat I would have to help you out. I'm not such a dick that I could just stand around and watch my friend die when there was something I could do that would help. And I know how i can get when the hormones and pheromones start making me think with my downstairs brain, but that's not the person I want to be and it isn't who you want me to be. Not really. Lauren and me are good together, she makes me happy in a way that makes sense. The way I met her isn't something I'm proud of, but I fell in love with her and I'm choosing to be a better person for her. I'm sorry that you got hurt in the process."

Tuck didn't even know where to start with that. So he didn't bother. "Right. Well, duty done now mate so please kindly fuck off."

FDR sighed as if Tuck was a particularly obstinate child. "Fine. I'll see you at work?"

"I'll be in," Tuck promised as he watched his Alpha vanish from his apartment leaving no trace that he was ever there at all.

Tuck knew what he had to do next. Having lost all hope where even his friendship with FDR was concerned he had only one thing left to preserve; his relationship with his son. It was time to step up and be a real parent. He hadn't lied to FDR when he promised he would be in to work, but what he hadn't said was that when he did go he would be retiring from the spying industry. Secret agents had no business being parents, not responsible ones who wanted to see their kid's graduation. Tuck guessed he was as guilty as FDR when it came to running away from his biology, which was kind of ridiculous when his biology was the thing that had been driving him to stay close to FDR all these years. Maybe Alphas were the possessive type, but Omegas were naturally nurturing and part of that was the urge to protect. Problem was he'd been so busy protecting FDR from the crazy messes he seemed to enjoy getting into that he'd been neglecting his son, the one person who needed and craved his protection.

It was time to stop running. Joe needed him.

He picked up the phone and dialed. "Katie, I'm ready for that conversation."


	9. Hide and Seek (one year six months later)

Lauren walked into the small café looking as sleek and beautiful as ever despite the clear loss of weight that showed in her face. She wore a tight black dress that fell past her knees, boots and a grey belt around her waist that emphasized her slim physique. Men all around gave her second looks, but she ignored them all. Yes she knew she looked good but every time she looked in the mirror all she saw was a woman who couldn't have a baby. Who had failed.

FDR had surprised her with his out of the blue change of mind, and for a while they'd been so happy that it hurt now to remember their naivety. Tuck's choice to move away had been hard for them both and his absence had been obvious at their wedding with FDR's grandfather standing in for best man. For the longest time FDR wouldn't talk about it, until she had broken down in tears and threatened to leave him having fully believed it was her fault the two men were no longer friends. Lauren had been devastated at the thought of making them both so miserable that they couldn’t share a postcode let alone friendship. FDR had corrected her, telling her the shocking truth. He'd confessed, a tumbler of whiskey in his hand, that he and Tuck had been on again/off again lovers in their youth but that they'd decided it was damaging their friendship and called it quits. Shortly afterwards Tuck knocked someone up and then when Joe was born his mum bailed leaving Tuck to turn to Katie who was an old friend. Katie and Tuck had married and raised Joe together but obviously something had gone wrong their because Lauren knew that they had been divorced by the time Lauren showed up almost two years ago. FDR said that after he had effectively stolen Lauren from Tuck their friendship had suffered with old hurts rising to the surface. Nothing FDR had done had repaired their relationship, in fact he admitted that he had only made things worse out of childishness and a resentment that he assured her he had had no right to feel in the first place. 

“I don't feel it any more,” he had promised, purring down the glass and moving closer to her.

“I'm still the reason-”

“No,” he had stopped her, placing a finger on her lips. “No, I drove Tuck away. The damage was done long before you showed up and I should have handled the situation better. It's not your fault.”

Afterwards they had made love so passionately and beautifully that she had never again doubted her place in his life or her role in the breakdown of FDR and Tuck's relationship. Still, she knew it bothered FDR to this day.

That wasn't what was making Lauren unhappy though. For the past fourteen months they had tried to get pregnant and never once had they succeeded. Finally they had gone to a doctor and Lauren had been told that she wasn't able to conceive. She was damaged on the inside and every day that she had been told this she had felt like a failure as a human being. FDR had been so kind and gentle afterwards, telling her they needed to wait and let the scars heal for a while before thinking about other options; adoption, fostering, IVF, surrogacy... None of these options were appealing to Lauren at the moment.

Today was not about her failure though. Today was about healing another wound entirely.

“You can sit anywhere you want, dear, I'll bring over a menu,” a teenage girl invited. 

“Thanks, but I'm here to see a friend? Goes by Tuck.”

After Tuck had left he had changed his name. Lauren hadn't know it at the time but Tuck hadn't exactly hung around for goodbyes. FDR, in typical FDR style, had tried to hunt down his best friend but he'd had no luck. Apparently Tuck was paranoid enough to change his identity. She guessed it had something to do with being a former spy for the US government but she hadn't asked FDR about it. Instead a stray comment she'd let slip in front of FDR's grandfather that had him taking her aside and revealing Tuck's location, but only so she could talk to Tuck. Tuck apparently didn't want FDR to know where he was. It was all very mysterious.

“Sorry, but who are you?” The waitress lost all her politeness, her posture stiff and eyes glaring.

“Lauren Foster, I mean Scott. He knows me as Lauren Scott.”

“Right. Stay here I'll see if he's in.”

They were in Bath, England, surrounded by cute accents and cars that drove on the wrong side of the road. It really freaked her out to start with, but she was more or less over it by the time the taxi pulled up in front of the café and demanded eleven pounds in fare. What little information that FDR's grandfather had been willing to share involved his place. It seemed to be bankrolled by Tuck and he lived above the café in a flat with Joe. Katie, she understood, had been out to Bath several times in the last eighteen months although clearly she had hid this from FDR. Katie tended to avoid them, at any rate, and had a new family with her own baby and a husband who worked as a small time sports announcer. She looked very happy.

Ten minutes later the girl came back looking even less pleased than when she had left. For a moment Lauren worried that Tuck had refused her and that this trip would be for nothing, then the girl opened her mouth and asked her to follow. She led Lauren further into the small but successful little café and through 'staff only' doors near the kitchen doors. They climbed a staircase in an uncomfortable silence until they reached the third floor. “This is it.” The girl turned around and left. Lauren knocked on the dark green door with a confidence she did not feel. 

“Hi, Mrs Foster,” Joe had answered the door, looking taller and more grown up that he had in America. His accent was still there but diluted. 

“Hello, Joe, can I come in?”

“Sure, just have to be quick because Micah crawls really fast.”

“Micah?” She repeated, and then saw the answer to her question as a small baby naked appart from a diaper commando-crawled with a surprising speed towards the open door. Lauren was shocked but managed to slam the door shut and thwart the baby's escape.

Micah stopped crawling immediately and started bawling his eyes out. Lauren reached down to scoop him up in her arms and rocked him. “Sorry, Micah,” she whispered into his sweet smelling skin as he heaved and sobbed.

“It's okay, he's just tired,” Joe informed her. “He always cries when he's tired!” Joe sounded more exasperated than anything else.

“He's adorable,” Lauren said, staring at beautiful brown eyes and stroking tufts of sandy coloured hair.

“He's a nightmare, but we love him,” Tuck emerged from another room and held his arms opened for the baby.

Lauren reluctantly handed him back to his father. “Hello Tuck.”

“Lauren,” he said, sounding upbeat even though his tired blue eyes seemed anything but. He shushed the baby who quickly fell silent and snuggled into his hold. “What brings you to the UK?”

“You, of course.”

“I'm flattered, really, but that ship had sailed Mrs Foster.”

“Funny,” Lauren said dryly in response to his attempt at humour. “Actually I'm here on behalf of FDR. He needs you, Tuck, we both need you to forgive him.”

“Get out.”

Lauren physically flinched at the coldness in his voice. “Tuck-” The sound of the baby fussing cut off what she has been about to say.

“I appreciate what you're doing but it isn't your place,” Tuck said, grimacing at his own words.

“No, it is. FDR told me the truth about your past and I think it's terrible that you both managed to put it behind you for so long until I came along. What went so wrong that you couldn't continue on as you had been?” She asked.

“Joe, please can you go to your room. Put a DVD on or something.”

Joe rolled his eyes in his dad's direction but plodded off in the direction of his bedroom, closing the door sharply behind him. Tuck didn't react to his son's moodiness, instead he rocked Micah and, when the child was still, placed him inside a cushioned playpen in the corner of the room nearest the door he had come through before. Tuck wound the automaton mobile that hung above the playpen and Micah's eyes were drawn to it. The baby seemed happy enough so Tuck moved away to continue his conversation with Lauren.

“Whatever truth FDR told you, I'm sure it was only half the story, but that isn't the point. I'm here in England because I spent my entire life chasing after FDR trying to keep his attention. That's not a life I want to continue living, Lauren, and it's not good for Joe or Micah. I spent most of Joe's existence doing a dangerous job acting like I had no responsibility to come back alive. Katie made me realise that isn't the type of parent I want to be. It's just a coincidence that you and FDR happened at the same time. Tell him to stop being so self-centred. It's time we both moved on with our lives and grew up.”

Lauren was surprised at his response, but she didn't entirely believe that was the whole story. She told him as much and watched as pain and grief flashed into his eyes before he shuttered his expression much the same way FDR did whenever they spoke of Tuck.

“Believe whatever you want. Now please leave before I'm forced to make you leave.”

“Alright, I'm going but before I do I'm going to see a bit more of the city. This,” she handed him a card with a hotel logo on the front, “is where I'm staying. It's got my cell and room number on the back if you change your mind.”

“I won't,” he insisted stubbornly as she showed herself out.


	10. Distance

It rained on the way to the hotel and Lauren looked around at the old pretty buildings and suddenly England didn't seem exotic or interesting. Bath was just another town in another country. She still had the same problems and the same grief tearing her apart from the inside until all that was left was ribbons of red so ragged that they couldn’t even pretend to be holding her together. She checked in at her hotel with a polite but distant smile on her face and followed a bellhop back to her room, nodding politely as he explained check out times. Lauren declined a wake up call and finally he left her alone. She collapsed on the bed without even bothering to look around or turn the light on. Jet lag took over and soon she was sleeping soundly.

Lauren woke up to the sound of her cell beeping. The battery was dying. Resentfully she dragged herself away from the reasonably comfortable bed and rummaged through her blue carry-on for the charger before connecting it. The screen flashed at her gratefully and then buzzed a reminder at her. Fourteen missed calls. Sighing she flicked through them. One was from work, two from Trish as well as five text messages, however the bulk of the calls were from her husband. Guilt ridden she dialled his cell and waited anxiously for him to pick up, hoping that he wouldn't even though she knew that thinking like that made her a bad wife.

“Where are you? I've been worried like crazy!” FDR sounded desperate. Nothing like the suavely self-confident man she'd met two years ago, but then she'd changed too.

“I told you, I just needed some time.”

“I thought you meant you'd be staying with Trish, not disappearing out of town.”

She bit her lip. “I needed space too.”

“Lauren, baby, just come home. Please.”

Begging. Had they sunk so low? Fallen so far from that young, passionate couple who wanted to share all the adventures the world could offer them with each other? They had bungee jumped off of tall buildings, skydived and been white water rafting. Seen sunsets in Sydney and the sunrise of Italy. How had those people become the sad, emotionally distant people having this phone conversation? She was afraid to speak, knowing he would hear the tears that were spilling rapidly down her cheeks in her voice if she did.

“Lauren?”

“Please, just talk to me?”

“Lauren!”

“I have to go,” she said, her voice breaking on the last word. Never had she ever said a sentence so true and yet so horrific to voice. Lauren cut the connection and slumped back down on top of the covers, sobbing to her self as she tried to believe that things would get better.

They had to, right?

On the other side of the ocean FDR slammed down the receiver. “Damn it!” he shouted, letting all the frustration and pain he was feeling express itself in his voice. “Did anyone get my wife's location?”

Around him three junior agents raised their hands timidly. Since they had been trying for a baby FDR had swapped to an office based position in the CIA and now played an important role in evaluating probies for field work. It suited him better, Lauren never worried, and best of all he hadn't been forced to accept another partner after Tuck had abandoned him. 

The youngest newbie agent, Carson Williams, spoke up first. “She's in the UK, sir.”

“Congratulations,” FDR said, letting sarcasm drip into his voice. “Anyone else?”

“Yes sir! Mrs Foster is currently in the town of Bath, sir, in England!” 

“Bath? I've never heard of it.”

“Exact co-ordinates are being sent to your phone immediately, Agent Foster,” the third probie agent said, and shot a look of pure hatred in the direction of the probie who had blurted out Lauren's location.

“I appreciate you help on this top secret assignment guys. Now, tell no one. This is a test,” he informed them and they all nodded eagerly before departing. That's what he loved the most about those guys. They knew when they were dismissed.


	11. Mind the Gap

FDR tracked her down fairly simply. Unlike Tuck, Lauren hadn't fled to the UK to hide. She had used her real name, her married name, on all documentation and once FDR proved he was her husband with his ID, copy of their shared credit card and a wedding photo, the clerk at the desk was all to happy to give him a room key and show him the way. FDR declined, he was more than capable of finding his wife himself and wanted to surprise her.

She wasn't surprised.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, sounding more tired than any other expected emotion. He wanted her to be angry, or joyous, or shocked. Instead Lauren was defeated in the way she had been ever since the doctor told her their could be no children for her. A future she had never really dreamed about snatched away from her just when she had decided it was all she really wanted. Life was so cruel.

“I came for you,” FDR announced, and pulled his wife close, inhaling her and letting himself calm. She was here, in his arms, where she belonged. As long as Lauren was with him he could centre himself. She smelt of lemongrass and white wine, like the musk that lingered in their house back in the states and slightly like cigarette smoke although that was most likely transfer since Lauren didn't smoke. At least, the research he'd had his team compile before heading out here indicated she hadn't brought any cigarettes lately. He sniffed again, subtly of course, and caught a scent that took him back to another time and another place. To another person. It immediately put him on edge in a way that he hadn't been since before they'd started trying for children. Blood rushed through his body and suddenly he was filled with the blind panic of his instincts that recognised his mate's absence. 

“You smell like Tuck.” He stepped away from his wife to watch her reactions. He could always tell when she was lying if he was watching her face. Luckily she wasn't able to do the same when it came to FDR.

“There is no way you could smell Tuck on me, FDR. It's your body trying to tell him you miss him. Just admit it, it's okay. He was a big part of your life for a long time,” she said soothingly, running a manicured hand up and down his arm. She had avoided the implied question, he noted suspiciously.

“I don't need to admit anything. Are you are it isn't just a guilty conscience? Why did you come all the way to the United Kingdom to see your old boyfriend, and not tell your husband about it?” He asked coldly.

Her eyes flashed at him, she was hurt at the accusation. Good, FDR thought vindictively. “He was your boyfriend first!” He winced, she certainly knew how to probe him where it hurts. The retaliation stung as it was meant to. They'd gotten good at this, recently, passive aggressive fights that led them no where. Maybe now was the time to be aggressive. Let her see the real him. The animal inside. Or maybe that was just the instincts taking over now he had Tuck's scent on him after the painful absence. This was why they were better off an ocean a part. Clearly Tuck agreed. Why didn't his wife?

“Tuck was never my boyfriend, he was a casual fuck. Why are you trying to make it more than it was?”

“Because we're dying inside.”

Anger left FDR. He knew she was telling the truth. No amount of pretending or Alpha posturing could change that. Lauren had been killing herself trying to conceive a baby that the universe just didn't want her to have. FDR had been starving to death from the absence of his mate. Hiding from the truth had done neither of them any good.

“He isn't going to fix this,” he whispered.

She hiccuped a sob that pulled at his heartstrings. “Maybe he can fix you.”

“I already told you, me and Tuck are better off without each other.”

“He said the same thing.”

FDR flinched. He had destroyed Tuck, he knew as much, but it didn't mean that hearing those words didn't hurt like a punch to the solar plexus. “So why are we even talking about this?”

“You're both lying. Just like I've been. I can't have a family for you, FDR, and it's so ironic that Tuck already has one. Joe's grown so much, he'd taller and more confident and his accent's already fading. There's a baby too, Tuck calls him Micah, and he's so cute with this big brown eyes and rosy little cheeks. When I held him I ached. Why should you have to ache as well?”

“Tuck has a baby?” The only way that was possible was if Tuck had moved on, and fast. Tuck had spent his whole life mooning after FDR, how could he get over them in just over a year when FDR... no, that wasn't fair. FDR was married, to Lauren. Still, he'd never imagined Tuck being able to surpress their bond. FDR's grandfather had explained to him that the instincts that governed them would be strongest in Tuck snce he'd gone through the pregnancy and birth, which was why Tuck had never been able to move on even when a woman who was seemingly perfect for him (Katie, not Lauren) was right in front of him. The idea of Tuck just upping and moving on was abhorrent to FDR. 

“I have to go see him,” he growled.

Lauren frowned but didn't argue. This had been what she'd wanted after all. “I'll take you to him.”

“No,” he bit out, startling her. “I'll go alone.”

“Look, you either go with me or I won't tell you where he is,” she issued the challenge and FDR could tell she wouldn't budge.

“Fine,” he agreed through gritted teeth. He could always get rid of her later and having the information from her would be a lot cleaner than getting his team involved especially after fourteen months had turned up no information. “Lead the way.”


	12. Hostility

“This is it?” FDR asked.

The building in front of him was typical of Bath and beautiful in it's intricate architecture and traditional stone, but it wasn't what he would have expected from Tuck. Tuck had loved the suburbs of California where he had settled for a short time with Katie and Joe. FDR had imagined him settling in the English version, a big house with lots of windows, a yard big enough for a swing set and whatever the British version of a white picket fence. This was nothing like that. It was a business on the ground floor, some kind of coffee house or café with privet rooms above where Tuck lived with his children. Had FDR pushed him so far that Tuck's only reasonable response had been to run to somewhere he'd never be found? Somewhere that made him unhappy? FDR swallowed down bitter guilt. 

“Yeah, the waitress showed me up to Tuck's apartment. Come on,” Lauren lead the way.

Up two flights of narrow stairs was Tuck's current home. Nerves lit FDR up and he wished, not for the first time since they'd left the hotel, that he was alone. He'd never be able to apologise properly in front of Lauren, or yell properly either. It had been a nightmare everyday, not knowing where Tuck was or what he was doing, who he was with, if he was healthy... if he was alive. His grandfather had assured him that he would know if his life mate died, but FDR felt so low and empty inside most days that he wasn't sure if he'd be able to tell the difference. He felt like half a man.

He reached a hand out an knocked.

“Go away,” a child's voice yelled from the other side of the wooden door.

“Joe?”

Silence. The door didn't budge. FDR knocked again.

“Joe, it's Uncle Frank. Let me in.”

“No.”

FDR huffed. “Joe, let me in! I need to see your dad.”

The door opened. Joe stepped outside and shut it behind him, a silver Yale key hanging around his neck and a glare on his face. He'd grown, almost nine years old now, and he looked more like FDR than he'd ever realised before. It physically hurt.

FDR smiled through the pain, using all the acting skills he'd ever learned as a spy to play the friendly uncle. It would surprise Tuck to learn but the role had never come naturally to him. He'd always had to hide how much he wanted to be in Joe's life, for the sake of a normal life for any of them. “Hi, Joe. Where's your dad?”

“He's not here, and you're not coming inside.”

“Joe-”

“No. You're a liar. My dad told me everything. I want you to leave before he gets back.”

Sucker punched by an eight year old. Now when FDR looked into those angry brown eyes and understood that this was the pain of a child who thought his parent had rejected him. This was what FDR had caused.

“Joe,” Lauren began, butting in when FDR was lost for words. “I think-”

“Go away!” Joe shouted at her. “Why are you here anyway. You don't belong!”

Lauren flinched as if the child had struck her. Joe had never been rude or hostile to her before and the outburst was unexpected, and hurtful. FDR winced because he could have protected Lauren from this. If only he'd tried harder.

“HEY!”

A pretty waitress headed towards them, glaring in FDR's direction. He didn't need her to come close, he could tell from this distance that she as an Alpha. Like himself. He hadn't even known women could be like them. Now was not the time to focus on that new information. She joined them outside Tuck's flat door and, ignoring FDR and Lauren, knelt down next to Joe and took his cheeks in her hands forcing his watery eyes to look at her.

“Hey, kid. What's up? Did they hurt you?”

“Who the hell are you?” FDR asked, enraged that this unknown Alpha would come into his territory, manhandle his son, and act as if he was the threat.

“She's the waitress who showed me up to Tuck's place when I first arrived. Remember, I told you?” Lauren said quietly from his side. Her hand slipped into his, a gesture of solidarity that he didn't have the faculty to appreciate. He squeezed her in anger and she quickly let go.

“That hurt.”

“No,” Joe said at the same time as Lauren's words. “They're just... unwelcome.”

FDR barely restrained himself from shooting Joe a glare. That wouldn't help the situation. Instead he gritted his teeth and put a smile on his face. “I'm here to see Tucker Hansen, he's my best friend. I'm-”

“I know who you are,” the girl said, joining the land of the standing. She kept herself between the American couple and the boy and FDR wanted to shove her out of the way and shout 'he's my son'. He didn't. He'd spent too long suppressing, denying, what he was to give into the Alpha male aggression now. “And we all know that he's right. You're not welcome here. This is Tuck's safe place, his nest, and he didn't invite you in.”

His nest. “Oh, you're one of those, are you?” FDR's grandfather had shared with him more information about Alpha and Omega culture and psychology since Tuck left than he'd ever imparted before. FDR wasn't sure if it was because his grandfather worried that Tuck's absence would be tough for FDR to handle and he needed to be aware of the way it might affect him or because he was trying to subtly encourage FDR to go after Tuck. He'd always been to much of a coward to ask which assumption was correct.

The English girl flashed him a smile that was a hundred percent predator. “You mean honest? Well, at least I’m not like you. Making yourself miserable. Living a lie.” She sneered. “At least I'm not like her. Oblivious.”

“What is with everyone. Is there something in the water that makes everyone be so hos-”

“Well, what a sight this is.” Tuck had finally joined the party.

Everyone stopped talking and turned to look at him. Silence.

“Joe, get inside the flat please, go see how your brother is. Emily, you can go back down stairs now. I think you're needed, it's mayhem without you-”

“But I-”

“Please. I'll be just fine without you,” he smiled at her, a kind expression usually reserved for family or children. Emily scowled and stormed off down the stairs, leaving the adults. “Well, shall we get this over with?”

“Lauren would you please go back to the hotel. Tuck and I need to talk alone,” FDR asked without taking his eyes off of his life mate.

“No.”

Both Lauren and FDR looked surprised that Tuck was the one to speak. “You both have chosen to interfere in my life after I made it perfectly bloody obvious I wanted to be left alone, so you both get to be part of this discussion. No more secrets, FDR. I think we've all been worn through by the lies.”

“That's not-”

“Besides,” Tuck interrupted his old friend, “I think she needs some ice for that hand.”

FDR looked at his wife then and saw the hand that he briefly remembered her offering him earlier. It hung limply against her stomach, fingers twisted and red from where he'd squeezed them so unnaturally tight. God. He'd managed to hurt everyone he loved. This was such a mess.

“Come on,” Tuck sighed, and went into a room opposite his flat. They had no choice but to go in after him.


	13. Deconstructing the Lie

It felt unnatural, being so close to both Lauren and Tuck at the same time. It brought the fight he struggled with every day to the forefront of his mind. His body hummed with anticipation of touching, smelling, tasting his mate but his mind gravitated towards Lauren, wanting to protect her from ugly truths. All in all, his heart just hurt.

The room they were in seemed to be a study of some kind, with a desk in front of large arching windows and book cases dug into the walls. There was just of side door that seemed to lead to a bathroom and no where else to escape. Tuck led them over to the sofa, offering bottled water as refreshments in a gesture that said he wanted them gone as soon as possible. The only nice thing he did was to offer Lauren a pack of frozen peas which he scrounged from a freezer compartment that served as extra storage.

FDR cleared his throat. “How have you been?”

“We've survived, despite you,” Tuck replied with a biting dryness that FDR knew was meant to put him on the defensive. He clenched his fists and settled for glaring at his ex best friend.

“Good, that's uh... good. You seem to be doing well here, making new friends I see.”

Tuck let out a hoarse laugh of disbelief at the jealousy that filled FDR's voice on those last words. “You have to be kidding. You of all people have no right to judge my friendships, FDR, and don't even pretend that it's borne out of a place of brotherly love.”

“I think we should all dispense of pretences,” Lauren said, interrupting their glaring contest to remind them both that she was still with them in the room. FDR reached out to grasp her hand – the uninjured one – but she flinched back. “I know you two were lovers.”

“So?” FDR asked. “I don't see why that is such a big deal. You've known for a while now, Lauren, and it never bothered you before? Why do you keep bringing it up?”

“Maybe because I never realised that you loved Tuck, romantically I mean? I knew you have been casual lovers, and friends, but in my mind I never pictured the two of you together as a complete unit until now. Being in this room with you both, it's like you're opposite ends of a magnet and I'm this rubber wall between you both.”

“No, it's not like that at all,” FDR protested. 

“I think it's always been like that, I just never noticed because the first time I saw you together was at the restaurant when you were fighting over me.”

“You've always seen the FDR you wanted to see. A large part of the is my fault; he presented to you a man you could fall in love with to ensure that you would never stay in a relationship with me. When he realised how easy and convenient for him it was, he chose to keep the façade going. I'm sorry, because I never told you. Frankly after what happened I didn't think it was my place, or that you would listen to what I said,” Tuck confessed. 

Lauren's gaze was hard. She wasn't tearful or heartbroken as such, but she had been completely destroyed by Tuck's calm and honest words. Even with FDR at her side, now yelling angry abuse at Tuck, she couldn't deny the horrific naked truth behind what had been revealed to her. She had been in love with the idea of a man, and not the reality. She supposed it was a good thing that she hadn't been able to have a baby with FDR. She wasn't sure if she was capable of feeling more pain, but she knew that she would heal, if there were children involved she would never be allowed to heal due to the constant reminders that lived with her.

“I just want to know why.”

The yelling stopped. FDR turned to her, his face flushed with rage and eyes barren of love. He was panicked, but not scared. Not any more. They had been heading for this moment since Lauren had left for England; since she had found out they couldn't have children, since they married, since she chose FDR over Tuck.... since they met.

“It's complicated.”

“I'm an intelligent woman, FDR, explain it to me,” she smiled brittlely up at her soon to be ex-husband.

“Tuck and I... we have a connection. One I never asked for. When we found out I, well I really didn't like the idea of being connected beyond my control to anyone. I was just a kid, I mean, we both were but I think everyone in this room would agree that I've always been less mature than Tuck. We've been able to put aside the connection and be friends ever since, at least until he met you. I didn't realise at first what my motives were based on. It wasn't until I was showering later and recalled smelling him on you. It's what made me approach you. After that I could have turned back at any point, even when you chose me over Tuck.”

“Why didn't you?”

“I allowed myself to believe I loved you.”

“How convenient for you,” Lauren choked out.

“Yes.”

“Well, if that's everything, I'd like you to leave,” Tuck's face smiled at them but his eyes were cold. Lauren looked at him and saw her own desolation reflected back. Tuck was as much of a victim of FDR's as she was, although she suspected he had been a willing one for years before leaving and coming to England. This has been his escape from a constant heartbreak that had rued his life for years before she ever met him. She was sorry for her part in it, but unable to completely absolve him of his guilt. He had not been innocent.

“No,” FDR said, surprising them all. “You want the truth? Both of you? Then let's spell it out for you, Lauren, so you understand what's really going on here.”

“I think I understand enough,” Lauren bit.

“This isn't going to end well, FDR. Telling her even more is only going to drive her further away. There will be no coming back from this,” Tuck warned him.

“You think there is anything worth going back to, Tuck? We've all been broken by this lie I've perpetuated. The funny thing was, I followed Lauren here to save our marriage, but one look at you and I can't remember why.”

“This isn't my fault!”

“No, it's not. So let's finish this,” he said, turning back to Lauren, “let's clear the air. You see, you understand the story up until a point but I haven't explained why Tuck took off all of a sudden, and to tell that story I have to go back even further back to before Joe was born.”

Tuck stood up, raising his voice with fear and anger threading together his words, “no! Don't you dare bring my children into this! Don't you fucking dare!”

“Exactly; children, Tuck! Don't you think you should have told me!”

“What, after you handled the news about Joe so well? Honestly, I didn't think you would care!” Tuck said with a painful chuckle devoid of all humour.

“What are you both going on about?” Lauren yelled in exasperation. This had stopped making sense to her and it was hurting her head. She just wanted to leave, but something held her in place watching these two men rip into each other. It was surprising to see FDR express so much pain on a subject he had forced upon them all. Lauren honestly believed that FDR hadn't even realised how much he was hurting himself by putting them all through this charade. 

“I'm Joe's father.”

Lauren had to take a moment to process that. It hadn't been Tuck's voice announcing the words into to echoing silence of the room, but FDR. Her whole world turned to rubble, joining her heart at the bottom of the pile. “So what, you knocked Katie up but instead of stepping up and being a man about having a kid you abandoned her and let Tuck raise your kid?”

“Not exactly,” FDR said awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed with his confession. This was where things got complicated.

“Biologically Joe is the son of me and FDR,” Tuck added, sounding tired and wary. “I know it sounds impossible, but that's because you were raised with only the knowledge of two human genders.”

“That's because there are only two human genders,” Lauren said.

“Trust me, love, there are more. I'm not sure how you would make sense of it from a purely traditionalist point of view, but I'll explain it how it related to the current situation. I'm an Omega male, and FDR is an Alpha male. For FDR very little changes, but for me it means that my insides are, for the purpose of this conversation, female while my outsides are male. Unlike most people's concept of intersex humans, I have the working sexual organs of both genders. I have the ability to have children, which is how I gave both to Joe.”

“You gave birth to Joe... I think I need some air.” Lauren felt dizzy and sick and confused. How many times could these two men destroy her?

“We only found out when Nana told Tuck he was pregnant. I had. For lack of a better word, mated with him. This is a... hormonal, pheromone induced, chemical response to Tuck. It makes me territorial the way some animals are, and for the record I’ve hated it all my life,” FDR admitted.

“I guess that explains odd comments like saying you could smell Tuck on me,” Lauren said, barely holding on to reality. “Does this mean you cheated on me and that... that Micah is the result?”

“Yes. I'm sorry.”

FDR didn't sound apologetic, he sounded relieved to finally get it all off of his chest. Lauren bolted off of the sofa and out of the room, blindly running down the stair case and out of the café into the street where she came to a sudden stop. Panting for breath she located a near by alleyway in which she lost the contents of her stomach in an embarrassing act. Gently someone held her hair and stroked her back, whispering that she was sorry, that everything would be okay. Lauren sobbed into the stranger's shoulder and let go of the lie she had been living for the past two years. Nothing was okay, but today was the last day that would be true.


End file.
